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Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life

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I would not have read this book if I didn't have to for a book club, and when I first picked it up and started reading I was like "Oh come on. Instead of scrolling through your social media news feed, this is a much better way to spend your spare time in my opinion.

In this final exercise, you are asked to imagine yourself in the presence of that situation or relationship, free from that stressful thought. Like physical exercise, Katie believes firmly that The Work can transform a person mentally and emotionally – rewiring their brain to eliminate painful or deceptive thoughts. If you cherry pick quotes out of this book you'll end up with a collection of seemingly valuable maxims, which I assume are the reasons for this book's success.

Numerous times I had to sit back and contemplate the book for a long long time before I felt prepared to continue. After you've answered The Work’s four questions, you should have a better understanding of the thoughts that are bringing you down and making you feel stressed. Often, these questions pop up in my daily trains of thought, and cause me to re examine what I held as truth. There's so much more to life, and people and their problems, and their stories, and their thinking and their feelings than Byron Katie acknowledges.

Katie seems to opt for a rather black and white binary as to what we can and cannot change as, I imagine, this makes "the work" a lot simpler to apply. A member of the Taliban might determine what truth is for him, but most reasonable people will determine his truth is not equal to that of the most of the rest of the world. Like developing an exercise regimen, working through Katie's four questions is a difficult discipline when you start, but it becomes a natural part of your routine if you are committed to The Work. It's not his need for acceptance which is causing stress, it's the unrealistic strategy of trying to have it met through his family, which, in reality, doesn't, in his experience, have the willingness or ability to meet that need. Paul came into the room and saw me, and he stormed up to me, shouting, 'Jesus Christ, Kate, what the hell is the matter with you?Maybe Justin, after truly accepting that his family may not be able to meet that need of his (right now), seeks to find other friends or groups of people who are willing and able to meet that need of his - whereas, the work seemed to just have him bucket the need and strategy together, when it was only the strategy that needed adjustment perhaps. She was a businesswoman and mother who lived in Barstow, a small town in the high desert of southern California. A truly illuminating and lively hookup of revered ancient Zen Diamond Sutra teachings and a wild and clear-eyed modern sage. In Byron Katie's book with Stephen Mitchell, Loving What Is: Four questions that can change your life, the light came on.

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